Friday, October 31, 2008

Emerging from the primordial political slime

By Barbara Parker
Beagletown Bugle Contingent Staff Reporter

It’s over. What now?

I’m talking about the election and the toll that it has taken.

I’ve lost friends. Those who weren’t as obsessed as I was started steering clear of me. And why wouldn’t they? I couldn’t talk about anything else. But really now, what was wrong with those people?

The cleaning lady quit. Every time she wanted to vacuum the living room, I told her I couldn’t hear the TV. When she wanted to work in the bedroom, I was in the way because I was on the Internet checking the daily tracking polls in the toss-up states. What did she expect me to do?

It’s true: After almost two years of campaigning, more than 40 debates, 24/7 election coverage, countless polls followed breathlessly via the Internet or TV, I was obsessed.

Some might call it Post Traumatic Election Syndrome. (PTES).

Those endless hours spent fretting over a campaign that lasted longer that some marriages now are yawning before me like a bottomless abyss.

But what to do about it?

PTES is overwhelming. Sure the holidays are coming, but my new friends – Chris and Keith and Rachael and Campbell and Wolf – won’t be there egging me on. Come to think of it, what are those guys going to do? No more all-nighters, no more fancy electoral maps, no more bald-guy focus groups, no more polls of angry white women and no more interviews with Joe-the-plumber. Their plight could be even worse than mine. But I seriously doubt it.

My shrink suggests that I throw a small party to get reacquainted with my estranged friends. That scares me though. They probably will have scintillating stories to tell about books they read and things that happened while I was stranded in the electoral desert. For the past two years it seems I only read the newspaper for primary/election coverage. Not only will I not know what they’re talking about, will I care?

The friends I saw during those long 20 months? Well, we’re sick of each other.

One of my obsessed friends told me that she mistakenly threw a dinner party for some of her non-obsessed friends and she, the hostess, watched Campbell Brown during dinner. Her guests left early with doggie bags.

Admit it: Ours is a serious problem.

As the Post’s Gene Robinson wrote recently, he and other political junkie pros were paid to be obsessed with the election. What about those of us who were just as obsessed as the pros? Robinson sort of suggested that we amateur junkies might need professional help.

He’s probably right.

I know that I am but one of many who suffer from PTED. Our symptoms are common: an unsettling ennui, feelings of lack of purpose in their lives, a disturbing loss of interest in things that used to give them pleasure. Some might call it “election burnout,” but I propose “PTES” would be a more clinical term.

But what to do about it?

I think that maybe, just maybe, PTES calls for a five-step program:

  • First we have to admit that we were powerless over our problem. The candidates made us do it.
  • Second we have to make amends with the friends that we shunned. Just because they had the strength to treat the election as just another every four-year occurrence doesn’t mean they’re bad people.
  • Third step: We have to believe that cooking a real meal for our families can help restore us to sanity. Admit it: It would be nice to sit at the table again.
  • Fourth, we must tackle that mountain of laundry that we’ve been stumbling over for far too long. How nice it would be to have fresh smelling linens on the bed.
  • Finally after we have mastered the first four steps, we need to spread the message to others afflicted with PTES. Let them know we feel their pain and that together we can lick our problem.

And don’t forget to call the cleaning lady.

Beagletown Bugle all rights reserved (to the author). The Beagle is happy and proud to pick up the scraps off the Washington Post Style section dinner table.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Still going at it



New plan

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

Look for spots

In answer to a previous question

When you awake

Ole told me I'm a fool.
So I walked on down the road a mile,
Went to the house that brings a smile
Sat upon my grandpa's knee,
And what do you think he said to me?

(Chorus:)
When You Awake you will remember ev'rything,
You will be hangin' on a string from your...
When you believe, you will relieve the only soul
That you were born with to grow old and never know

Ole showed me the fork in the road.
You can take to the left or go straight to the right,
Use your days and save your nights,
Be careful where you step, and watch wha-cha eat,
Sleep with the light on and you got it beat.

(Repeat chorus)

Ollie warned me it's a mean old world,
The street don't greet ya, yes, it's true;
But what am I supposed to do:
Read the writing on the wall,
I heard it when I was very small.

(Repeat chorus)

Wash my hand in lye water,
I got a date with the captain's daughter.
You can go and tell your brother.
We sure gonna love one another, Oh!
You may be right and ya might be wrong,
I ain't gonna worry all day long.

Snow's gonna come and the frost gonna bite,
My old car froze up last night.
Ain't no reason to hang your head
I could wake up in the mornin' dead. Oh!

And if I thought it would do any good,
I'd stand on the rock where Moses stood.

Further elucidation

Of course the expression, "beyond the pale," refers to the ghettos of Russia, not a "pail" or bucket or doggie dish or anything else.

Just in time for Halloween


from Colin

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Vlad the Impaler's half brother

Voivode Vlad II Dracul of Wallachia had four sons. With his first wife, he had Mircea II who ruled briefly, and Vlad Ţepeş (Dracula), who held the line on Ottoman hegemony and has a legendary reputation of ruthless brutality. With his second wife, he had Radu cel Frumos (the Handsome) who allied with the Turks to wrest control from Vlad Ţepeş, and Vlad Călugărul (Vlad the Monk), who ruled after Radu for a short time.

Radu and Vlad fought on different sides during The Night Attack in 1462, a battle which effectively ended Mehmed II's ambitions to annex Wallachia for the Ottoman Empire. On the run from Mehmed, Vlad unleashed guerilla raids, sent infected people into Ottoman camps to spread disease, and attacked and annihilated towns along the way, butchering and impaling Bulgars and Turks. Vlad fled to Transylvania. Mehmed retreated in horror.

As prince of Wallachia, Radu upped the tribute Wallachia paid to Mehmed II and things went along for a while. Vlad Ţepeş was imprisoned in Hungary. He returned to Wallachia when Radu died and the throne was passed on to Basarab, an Ottoman governor. Ţepeş chased off Basarab, but the Ottoman army came and straightened everything out, and sent the head of the man they called "Kazıklı Bey" back to Istanbul.

Abridged astronomical note appropo of nothing

IK Pegasi is a binary star system in the constellation Pegasus, luminous enough to be seen with the unaided eye.

The primary (IK Pegasi A) displays minor pulsations with a periodic cycle of luminosity variation that repeats itself about 23 times per day.

Its companion (IK Pegasi B) is a massive white dwarf—a star that has evolved past generating energy through nuclear fusion.

They orbit each other every 21.7 days with an average separation of about 31 million kilometres, smaller than the orbit of Mercury around the Sun.

Secret plan

Strange maps

States in relation to nation's GDP -- ass fascinating

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Glossary

Here are a list of words the Collins English Dictionary wants to discard to make room for up to 2,000 new entries.

Abstergent: Cleansing

Agrestic: Rural

Apodeictic: Unquestionably true by virtue of demonstration

Caducity: Perishableness

Caliginosity: Dimness

Compossible: Possible in coexistence with something else

Embrangle: To confuse

Exuviate: To shed

Fatidical: Prophetic

Fubsy: Squat

Griseous: Somewhat grey

Malison: A curse

Mansuetude: Gentleness

Muliebrity: The condition of being a woman

Niddering: Cowardly

Nitid: Bright

Olid: Foul-smelling

Oppugnant: Combative

Periapt: An amulet

Recrement: Refuse

Roborant: Tending to fortify

Skirr: A whirring sound, as of the wings of birds in flight

Vaticinate: Prophesy

Vilipend: To treat with contempt

Saturday, October 4, 2008

This I Believe- The case for Barack Obama and Democrats in 2008

America has a choice to make. In little more than 40 days, America will choose its next president and seat its 111th Congress. Unlike previous elections, where one might be tempted to remain disengaged, thinking that whatever happens, we will get a chance to do it again in four years, this election will, I believe, set the direction for the United States as a nation for a good long while. If the conservative politics of George W. Bush are allowed to exist for another four years unchecked, they will be so firmly entrenched after 12 years that they will no longer be a passing political stage, but they will have become our political culture. And that, I believe, is unacceptable. America is better than the failed politics of elitism, xenophobia, and fear masquerading as security. In this essay, I will outline what I believe. This is not what Barack Obama believes or why his proposed policies are better. I believe that Barack Obama and the Democratic Party are the best vehicle to deliver what I believe is a better America. That is why I am a Democrat. I have nothing against Republicans just because they are Republicans. I have plenty against people who stand in direct opposition to principles that I believe are the foundation of the America that I love, regardless of party. I invite you to read on, and I hope that you are persuaded to join with me in voting for Barack Obama and Democrats in 2008.

I believe that disagreement with the government and/or the popular point of view is patriotic and necessary.

I will let another American far greater than I make the salient point for me:

“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” – Theodore Roosevelt, The Kansas City Star, May 17, 1918.

The idea that any criticism of the country’s policies with regard to the “War on Terror” and terrorist organizations in general are unpatriotic, that Americans are either “with us” or “against us” is preposterous and dangerous. Great minds of many generations have disagreed over the best way to handle American foreign policy. There is no such thing as “the way.” International relations are limitless in their complexity. George W. Bush and his advisers do not have all the answers. Not even close. And it is time to stop pretending that they do.

I believe that government should be responsible to its citizens at large, not beholden to certain interests.

This goes for both sides of the coin. I believe that corporations have too much of a say in today’s political climate. Likewise, I would not want other interest groups to get everything that they want either. No one interest should be able to dictate the course of government, or even a substantial part of government. Abraham Lincoln said it best in 1864:

“I see in the near future a crisis approaching that unnerves me and causes me to tremble for the safety of my country. Corporations have been enthroned and an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign by working upon the prejudices of the people until all wealth is aggregated in a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.”

I believe that everyone in America has rights.

Everyone in America has rights. Even criminals. I find it ironic that in many cases the same people who champion the 2nd amendment relentlessly are willing to so readily give up the protections guaranteed by the others because the government says they need to in order to be safe. It is true that the justice system in the United States is a messy business. Most of the time, the people that become embroiled in disputes about their constitutional rights are already involved in doing something that they shouldn’t. The adage “If you aren’t doing anything wrong, what are you afraid of?” rings true for a lot of people. But our system only works if everyone has a reasonable expectation of privacy and the freedom to express themselves. If it guarantees my freedom to write this today, the government must also guarantee the freedom of a Klansmen to write what he wants to write, or someone else to stand up and say that they hate America. We must rely on society as a whole to outmode these ideas. We can’t simply censor them away. For the government to begin dictating what is acceptable discourse is to start on the path toward the destruction of all that our founding fathers held dear. Likewise, the criminal justice system must guarantee the rights of everyone, from a kid caught with an ounce of dope all the way to a serial killer. These cases are not always sympathetic. Who cares if a mass-murderer has his rights violated? We all should. When we as a society punish someone for what they have done, up to and including taking their life, we owe it to that person, however reprehensible they may be, to be as sure as we can that we are right. And more importantly, we owe it to ourselves. It is one of the hallmarks of our Republic.

I believe that if your faith is as strong as you say it is, you can make room for other faiths as well, including the absence of it in others.

I am a person of faith and a Christian. I have been an active member of the United Methodist Church for my entire life. I believe that God exists and his work can be seen in the world every day. On the religious right, much is made of the fact that “America is a Christian nation, founded on Christian principles.” America has no state religion. It never has, and hopefully never will. While it is true that some of the early colonies had what can only be described as theocracies, the men who drafted the Constitution were of different minds on religion. John Adams was a Massachusetts Puritan, but he led efforts later in his life to amend the Massachusetts Constitution in order to guarantee freedom of religion. Thomas Jefferson, the man who conservatives so like to align themselves with for his position on states’ rights and individual freedoms, was an avid supporter of the French philosophes, people who believed that reason, not religion, should be the governing force of society. The religious past of this country is far more convoluted than many are comfortable admitting. Conservatives of the religious stripe seem to be intent on making the United States conform to their notions of how a society should operate. But it is not for them to say. It is for all of us to make our own decisions about what individual value system will guide our daily lives. If you can’t handle the idea that someone else might make a choice that makes you uncomfortable, I recommend you turn your gaze inward and ask yourself what about that makes you so afraid. If your faith is so easily shaken by someone else’s actions, is it really that strong after all?

I believe that science should be respected, and kept separate from religion

It is the primary function of science to increase humanity’s body of knowledge and therefore advance the human condition. Unfortunately, it is also society’s tendency to vilify scientists for challenging the status quo, particularly when they challenge a fundamental religious tenet or uncover facts that make life inconvenient for those at the top, a la evolution and global warming. I don’t pretend to know myself whether global warming is real or not. I believe that it is, but I myself can’t prove it to you. But this I know: there are people out there who have spent their entire adult lives studying it, and almost everyone agrees that the world’s climate is changing. The cause or how long it will take is irrelevant to me. If America can take steps to reduce its emissions of gases that besides being potentially harmful to the planet are also responsible for making our air less healthy to breathe, how can we justify doing nothing? Yes, it’s expensive. But do we want generations of Americans to look back on us and judge us fools for quibbling over dollars and cents when we could have done something to help them? I don’t. The environment matters.

As for evolution, I believe that religion of all types should stay out of the public classroom. Evolution is a scientific theory. Creationism is not. And for my money, neither is Intelligent Design. Public school teachers should teach evolution. They should evaluate children on whether or not they understand the theory behind it. Believing it is not a criterion and never has been. If parents want to teach their children their religious views about creationism at home so be it. No child should be penalized for expressing a disbelief in evolution. But they should learn about it.

I believe in capitalism and the free market, but also in common-sense regulation and a safety net for those the market leaves behind.

Capitalism is a wonderfully productive and prosperous economic system. I cannot imagine an America based on anything else. But capitalism has a downside, and we are seeing it all over America today as mortgage companies and brokerages that were heavy into mortgage-backed securities are collapsing under the weight of bad debt. The markets can soar to great heights of prosperity. But when the heights get too high, the ship of capitalism will inevitably right herself. And when she does, there are casualties. This is what the pure free-marketeers either forget or choose not to acknowledge about their “let the markets work” philosophy. When the markets “work,” people get hurt. And they don’t leave. They lose their houses and their jobs, but they don’t magically disappear. And what happens when the potential cost gets high enough, as it has recently? Even those free-marketeers are forced to step in and offer a bailout to keep many more Americans than usual from suffering the consequences. It’s the right thing to do. But it shouldn’t have to reach a crisis point before someone takes notice. And what of those who are not saved by the bailout, or for whom the bailout never comes? Government services are a lifeline for the casualties of capitalism. We need to give them the help they need to return to the market in a stronger position. Otherwise, they end up on our streets and in our shelters.

These are the things that I believe. Whether you agree with them or not, I feel that it is important in this election, as it has been in no other in my lifetime, for people to speak up and be heard. I love this country, and I have spent my entire adult life (what little of it there has been so far) in government service. I believe that we can do better. And that’s why I am voting for Barack Obama.