Higgs boson was the boatswain on a ship who reported to Captain Hollister P. Higgs who is famous for being the most elusive sea captain of his day but pivotal to the whole existence of the mercantile economy.
Higgs boson is the ancestral home of a particle physicist who was a contemporary of Sir Issac Newton but the two feuded over a craps game that one or the other had developed on a trip to France.
Higgs boson is a form of respiratory disease unique to outlining islands of the Phillipines.
Higgs boson is a particle or an attitude that holds up the universe as we know it, and if the guys down at CERN prove it doesn't exist then the whole Newtonian-Eisteinian complex comes crumbling down like a cheap tent, and then where will we be?
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